The Elderly Elf

This old man sat next to me the other day on my morning commute and he had the cutest little ear warmers on attached to his iPod headphones. I don't know if they were homemade or store bought because I haven't yet seen these around.  I love how he also happened to be color coordinated with his outfit whether he meant it or not. We got off at the same stop and I totally went paparazzi on him.

Little Things That Matter

In honor of the new year and 01.11.11, I am listing 11 of the top things I hate + love about my new city of Shanghai. It's a bit lengthy but hope you enjoy. Here goes...


11 Things I Hate !!

11. Cigarette Smoke (Air Pollution)
I have a fairly high tolerance for cigarette smoke. I have sat through endless smoke-filled dinners and outings with friends.  I also agree that it destresses and goes well with an afternoon coffee or late night drink.  After awhile you do forget the smoke is there, but what I can't stand is smelling like it afterward---especially my hair! These days I've begun to notice that I will smell like smoke even if I haven't gone to a restaurant or bar. Cigarette smoke is just everywhere: from the guy at the bus stop, to the couple walking in front of me on the sidewalk, to the poor sap in the stairwell at work trying to take a warm cigarette break. My hair soaks it all up.  This on top of the exhaust fumes that permeate Shanghai's air on bad days is enough to give a girl lung cancer by association.


10. Silent Vespas (Crazy Traffic)
Never have I felt so neglected as I have being a pedestrian in Shanghai. Automobiles just don't care about you! I swear those damn Vespas or as they call them here: Motorcars and Motorbikes, turn off the engine and coast to save gas. They're SILENT and they're fast. Then there's the bus that really will leave while you're half on or off if you're not quick enough. I've already had it happen a few times and the driver gives you the annoyed look like you purposely tried to get stuck in the door.

 9. No Central Heating ( Crappy Insulation)
There are a million gadgets here to keep warm from a space heater to an electric blanket to heat lamps in the shower. One wonders why we wouldn't just spend that money and energy in to installing central heating.


8. Watered-Down Cocktails
Stick with beer or wine if you go out in China or even Hong Kong. The drinks are mostly mixers. 


7. Squat Toilets ( Bad Plumbing)
For all the glitz and glamor that Shanghai is obsessed with---it all goes away when you walk in to the bathroom and there's a squat toilet. Plus, I really like to flush my toilet paper.


6. Traditional Ideas
Most young people don't move out until they're married.  "Fuerdi" or children of the nouveau rich let their parents determine future spouses in order to protect their inheritance.  Most people I meet diligently put their savings towards that house or car  rather than broadening their minds through a new activity, travel, or continuing education.

5. Passiveness + Obedience

The Chinese are a cunning bunch, but sometimes they can also be a bit like robots.  Maybe it's instilled in them at a young age from authoritarian administration, or maybe they feel that they are powerless to change the status quo. 


4. No Concept of Privacy 
Bless those ladies at the bank that feel they are helping when they hover while I withdraw my money. Then there's also the store clerk that won't leave me alone. There is no such thing as "I've got it" in this middle kingdom.

3. No Concept of Personal Space
I'll admit it. I can't stand strangers touching me, bumping me, and especially leaning on me. Rush hour is not fun in Shanghai when you're literally butt to butt with the person behind you and they don't seem to mind whatsoever...

2. No Concept of Normal Safety Standards
You should really wear a helmet and your child needs a car seat...especially on the Vespa.


1. Rules Aren't Enforced (Laissez-Faire Attitude)
Expect nothing. No guarantees. No standards. What you get is what you get.


11 Things I Love !!


11. Good Cheap Food
The food is fresh, good, and varied. Delivery is free, but your plastic bag is not!  


10. Cheap Labor
Overpopulation means a fight for jobs which can be as specialized as bespoke clothes or furniture to as basic as a cleaning lady, that cooks, grocery shops and does laundry.  If there's a need, someone will do it!


9. Paying my bills at the convenience store 
Perfect for a procrastinator like me, or someone that doesn't have a Chinese bank account yet.


8. Cell Phone Service Everywhere
The elevator, the subway, you name it---there's service.


7. Being Part of the Majority
No more "ni hao" or "konichiwa" cat calls.  Buying make up is a breeze and I don't worry about who cuts my hair.


6. Super Modern Transportation
One refillable transportation pass is usable on all metro lines, buses, and taxis.  There are TVs everywhere to lighten up that boring commute. The Maglev will get you to the airport in 8 minutes! 


5. Chinese Humor
Those crazy Chinese! They're just a quirky, goofy bunch. 

4. Chinese Hospitality
Splitting the bill doesn't exist here and very few things are considered inconveniences among friends. China is a collective society.  What comes around goes around.

3. Cheap Fake DVDs & Free Downloads
Watch anything, even if it's still in the theaters for about 7 RMB ($1.06) or less. Download all the music and pirated software you want. Who cares? China doesn't. 

2. The Emerging Contemporary Art Scene
The market and talent are here. Foreign investment has started to trickle in; the government just needs to lighten up a bit. Beijing is still the major arty city here, but if in Shanghai visit the studios in former opium dens at 696 Weihai Road or at the old silk factory at M50.


1. Rules Aren't Enforced (Lassiez Faire )Attitude
China is still a developing nation. They haven't gotten around to establishing standards for everything yet--so for the most part people just wing it. Everything is negotiable and there's a 50:50 chance things will go your way with a little persuasion. 

Welcome 2011 | Life is What You Make It

As the new year rolls in, I look back at everything that happened opposed to making new resolutions.  I believe you have to examine the past before you can prepare for the future.  Even then, I don't make a specific resolution. I have goals, but they are always there and usually take more than one year to achieve.  No need to rush.  There was a lot of transition in 2010---a little too much at times but I believe I ended up where I needed to be in the  end. I always do seem to take the long way.

This was my very, very first holiday season away from home. I anticipated it to be hard, but it wasn't that bad.  I found people to hang out with and did small things to honor the occasion.  The atmosphere in China is very different for Western holidays so they kind of all just quietly came and went with out much commotion. The "holidays" presented themselves as what they essentially are: just another day.  It's not that they were suppressed in any way---the country just attaches no meaning to the holidays, the people have no childhood sentiments, and the traditions have become another import.  Christmas specifically is a fashionable holiday where young people have an excuse to shop their hearts out. This reconfirmed in me the oh-so-cliche proverb "life is what you make it."  It is the meaning and memories we attach to people, places, objects, and days(events) that make them special. Everything is the same everywhere.

China is the Most Populous Nation Because...

Encountered on the staircase outside the shops at the Portman Ritz Carlton | Shanghai Center

The Chinese like to screw.  I could not help but double-back and snap this picture with my  phone when I found it. Despite the fuzzy quality of my out-of-date piece of technology, I believe you can still make out the medication: Viagra. Most medications are prescription-free in China, from anti-biotics to sleep aids to case in point: Viagara.  You can see from the picture that this was not a lost package as it has been opened and emptied of its contents. Then, I gather the eager individual decided to rid himself of the bulky packaging on the steps outside the pharmacy at the Portman Ritz Carlton shops in Shanghai Center where I encountered it while shopping for vitamins because it's winter and I don't want to get sick. However, this humorous incident reaffirms my belief that the Chinese have sex on the brain just like everyone else.

Evidence #1: Walk in to any convenient store chain and you will see a menagerie of condoms (mostly Durex) at the check-out along with the chewing gum and candy. While in the US, I have never seen this. Aren't condoms supposed to be tucked away on some discreet aisle along with the tampons and pregnancy test sticks? 

Evidence #2: Four out of five weekdays in Shanghai are 'Ladies' Night' where Ladies drink absolutely free.  Specials will range from house cocktails to free-flow champagne until midnight or later. I have no idea how the bars make any money except that men will be where the ladies are. China especially, is a country where splitting the check is a seldom practice. Prepare to pay up gentlemen.

Evidence #3: Chinese women are hot (myself excluded). Judging from the raven-haired barbie dolls that I walk to work with each day; Chinese women are petite recreations of Barbie herself with porcelain perfect skin.  Beauty is such a huge industry in China from diet teas to special face creams to cosmetic surgery.  This nation is on the move and the women are in it to win it.

The Christkindlemarkt

In my defense, they never asked me for my ticket. I didn’t try to sneak in. I honestly didn’t know there was an admission!  Down the street from my apartment is a German beer hall called Paulaner Brauhaus which apparently holds a Christmas Market (Christkindlemarkt) every year for a 25 yuan admission fee---to keep away all the locals I suppose.  The “rift raft”, as one old friend would put it.  It was a lovely market, something a kin to the stands at Union Square and Bryant Park every year (which don’t charge admission, might I add). The Christmas Market did have food stands though with a mix of German and Western fare like Bratwursts, Pretzels, Chili, Goulash, etc. I bought myself some hot, spiced Gluϋhwein that came with a red ceramic cup and reusable  green plastic lid and white sleeve. How cute! And THAT’S when they asked me for my ticket. Maybe if you drank two the second one was half price or something...I dont’ know. It’s not like the Gluϋhwein or anything in there was free.  Well. All I could manage was a bashful “I must have misplaced it” and slowly slithered away to quickly buy some folk art stationary cards before I made a run for it. 

The Shanghai Biennale

Wang Mai's headless horse-shaped pipes in Oil Monsters

The Shanghai Biennale is back in it's 8th run at the Shanghai Museum of Art. The theme this time is Rehearsal, alluding to the fact that art is an on-going production. Art is fluid and changing.  Artist Ma Liang (also fashionably known as Maleonn)  recreates a portion of his photography studio---which is known to be cluttered with quirky, outlandish props---in order to allow visitors to see what the opposite side of the lens looks like in staging a piece of work.  Below are some of the props.

A para sailing skeleton from Ma Liang's studio

Traditional Chinese New Year Lion heads

A traditional Chinese scroll is meticulously drafted over by artist Guan Wei showing futuristic new developments.  On an opposite wall he also uses maps and imagery to make a statement of our increasingly globalized society.  I was more interested in the drafting.

Guan Wei's Development Zone

 Artist Zhang Huan's piece has two parts: a reinterpretation of the Baroque opera Semele  with a Chinese perspective and then second, the transportation of the set which was originally a 450 year old village temple to be displayed in new glory as a museum centerpiece. Cool. Check more about Mr. Zhang's projects and the story of Semele here.

 

There was also an amazing installation by Norwegian art group Verdensteatret that was totally my favorite  It's called And All the Question Marks Started to Sing.  Best said by WSJ's Art Scene Asia, "The work fills a room with spinning bicycle wheels, surreal projections, music and live performance to evoke a cheery if slightly eerie dream." The installation is reminiscent of Tim Burton--another favorite---because both artists bring inanimate objects to life in a creepy but whimsical way. Check out Verdenstreatret's website here.

Image courtesy of Verdensteatret

Then there's the charming playroom by Qiu Zhijie in which essentially a 2 dimensional painting is brought in to 3D. Also, best said by the Wall Street Journal:

[ Mr. Qiu] "brings to frenetic life a famous traditional painting of Ming Dynasty-era city life with an interactive installation comprised of mask painting, mechanized grindstones of ink and of salt, strewn keys and other miscellanea. " WSJ

I wasn't expecting the interactive opportunity of artwork or ability to photograph anything I wanted. Art museums are still a growing cultural phenomenon in China---maybe these lax rules will establish a more enjoyable art-viewing experience in the future. I mean---who wouldn't want to photograph or touch art work?

Yours truly with Qiu’s Notes on ‘Colorful Lanterns at Shangyuan Festival'

Beware of the Motorbike

Shanghai is China's largest city, but it does have room to expand unlike Hong Kong or New York. There's not that claustrophobic density or fight for space.  The city spreads out wide and low with a matrix of alleyways and unmapped side streets.  Almost every road is tree-lined and they shed giant leaves that paper the ground as Fall winds down.  The pleasant tri-ling of bicycle bells as people pedal past add to the charm. The city is actually rather peaceful on weekends with the backdrop of period French architecture and older residents that gather to chat on doorsteps. You begin to forget where you are for a moment as you fantasize about the stories this city must have during the 1920s and it's European occupation.

And then, there comes the motorbike---menace of the streets. It obeys no traffic laws. Red light, one-way street, mother and child in the middle of the crosswalk---the motorbike does not care.  I've always known that traffic is crazy in China, but at least you can see and hear cars and they obey the traffic laws.  Plus, usually they're inclined to honk.  Bicycles are a little trickier to detect, but they don't go that fast and won't kill you. Motorbikes however are a cross-breed of the car and the bike that alternate between roads and sidewalks like an indecisive Mario Kart player.  They constantly zip through intersections long after everything else has stopped or travel against the flow of traffic.  I am terrified of them because they will severely injure, possibly kill, and almost always ruin my weekend musings around Shanghai.